From the time we’re children, we’re taught to suppress, hide, and try to control strong emotions. Our idea of emotional regulation is more about conquering our feelings than understanding them. But regulating your emotions isn’t about pushing feelings away or forcing yourself to “get over it.” It’s the skill of staying present with what’s real, even when it’s uncomfortable. And it’s something you can train. 

This is the foundation of our Emotional Intelligence program. Each track focuses on a single emotion and teaches you how to be with it through a blend of breathwork, body awareness, and mindfulness-based meditation. Here’s what you need to know to start changing your relationship with emotions. 

Letting go of control

In his book Letting Go, A Pathway to Surrender, Dr. David Hawkins writes that the core of emotional suffering isn’t the emotion itself, but our resistance to it. When we stop trying to suppress or “fix” what we feel and allow it to be present without judgment, emotions resolve independently.

Every emotion carries energy. Shame and guilt can feel heavy and constricting, and fear narrows our perspective. But as we allow these states to pass, we often rise into more expansive ones, like courage, love, and peace.

This isn’t a one-time process. It’s an ongoing inner practice. But the more awareness you bring to it, the more resilient you become. Not because you stop feeling things, but because you’re no longer afraid to.

The neuroscience of regulation

From a neuroscience perspective, staying with your emotions, rather than trying to control them, can literally change your brain. Mindfulness-based practices, like breathwork and meditation, have been shown to:

• Reduce emotional reactivity by calming the amygdala (your brain’s alarm system)
• Strengthen the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for thoughtful decision-making and emotional regulation
• Improve interoceptive awareness, or your ability to sense and interpret internal signals (like breath, heartbeat, or tension)

Practical techniques to help you feel, not fix

Presence changes your physiology. You don’t need to change the emotion: You need to change your relationship to it. Techniques like the following can help you do just that:

• Affect labeling: The simple act of naming your emotion reduces activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for threat detection and stress response. Instead of “I’m sad,” try “I am experiencing sadness.”

• Mindfulness: Staying aware and grounded in the present moment activates the prefrontal cortex, improving emotional clarity and response flexibility. Try asking yourself, “Where am I? Here. What time is it? Now.”

• Interoceptive awareness: This refers to your ability to sense internal signals like breath, heartbeat, and tightness. Regular practice enhances your emotional fluency and helps regulate responses from the inside out. Make a habit of checking in with your body throughout the day. Where do you feel tension? What emotions, sensations, and needs do you notice?

• Cultivating gratitude: Positive emotions like gratitude, compassion, and awe can expand psychological flexibility, build resilience, and promote long-term well-being. Try keeping a gratitude journal and noting what you’re grateful for, big and small, daily. 

Emotional Intelligence Training at Open

As you move through our 10-track Emotional Intelligence program, you’ll develop practical tools for emotional regulation—building self-awareness, clarity, and a steadier internal baseline you can carry into daily life. These aren’t hacks to feel better fast. They’re tools to help you feel more fully, honestly, and sustainably.

• Guilt & Shame → Use extended exhales and emotional noting to shift from self-judgment to self-understanding.

• Sadness → Soothe the nervous system with vase breath and gently release grief through body scanning.

• Fear → Cultivate safety with box breathing and observe fear with curiosity through the RAIN method.

• Anxiety → Break the cycle of mental loops with physiological sighs and breath counting.

• Anger → Channel intensity into clarity using circular breath and mindful recognition.

• Boredom → Stay present through perfect breath and open awareness to turn restlessness into curiosity.

• Pride → Celebrate growth with contemplative reflection while staying grounded.

• Love → Practice lovingkindness from the inside out, beginning with self-compassion.

• Joy → Expand your capacity to savor and hold positive emotion through presence.

• Awe → Step beyond the personal with visualization that reconnects you to something larger than yourself.

Emotional regulation is a practice, not a destination

Regulating your emotions isn’t about achieving perfect calm. It’s about building enough awareness and space to hold whatever arises. Some days, that might mean crying. For others, it might mean sitting still with discomfort. And some days, it’s letting joy move through everything you do.

Ready to start practicing? Try Open for free and explore our Emotional Intelligence program.